The other morning, I sat on the couch, trying to savor my morning mug of coffee before my daily obligations called me away from it. I had a lot on my plate as a mother of three children under the age of five with a busy husband, and it was almost always on my mind how important taking good care of my children was to the kingdom. It was a sort of ministry calling, but it wasn’t the most important one.

When I was in my early twenties and returned from the mission field, I felt led to pursue a career in nursing rather than become a foreign-field missionary like many of my friends. I knew, like Paul, that I could be a tentmaker of sorts, and that the Lord could use me in that capacity to touch the lives of so many people. Even now, every time I go to work, I pray to hear God’s voice, to be His light, and to minister to those I come into contact with, even if it’s just giving a bed bath.

However, nursing is not my primary ministry calling. In my spare time, I sell Rodan + Fields skincare. I work to mentor and inspire a large and growing team of people. This aspect of my life is even considered a place where I might share Christ’s love, but it is not my primary ministry. I frequently write blogs in the hopes of inspiring others. I feel led to share my emotions and to write about how God is working in me in my posts.

I’ve even had many people from all over the world tell me that my words helped them, but this is not my primary ministry. In fact, I wear several hats, but one is particularly important to me. I was gulping my coffee the other morning as I watched my tired husband walk out the door. Without a doubt, that man was a hard worker. He not only worked long hours running his own business, but he also went out of his way to help me with the kids when he was home. So I kissed him goodbye as he left for work.

I had given him a long hug while whispering “have a good day,” but my heart ached for him as he walked out the door. I wished I could bear some of his burdens, but I knew I couldn’t. I became preoccupied with the children shortly after he left, but he continued to haunt me. I thought to myself that I should send him a text to let him know I was thinking of him, and it was at that moment that I felt the Lord strongly impress these words on me.

Your husband is your primary ministry call. And then I realized it was correct. He was the most important aspect of my life to me out of all the things I loved. God had brought us together, and my job as a wife was to love, honor, and strengthen my husband. I immediately thanked the Lord for my husband and prayed for him and his day. My thoughts were quickly interrupted, as they often are when you have small children, and I became preoccupied with the tasks of keeping the little ones happy, healthy, and alive.

And hours later, as I rocked our baby to sleep, I heard my phone vibrate as a text message arrived. When I saw my spouse’s number pop up on my phone, I realized I hadn’t texted him as soon as I should have. I just want you to know I love you more than you know. I appreciate everything you do and are. I seem to be stressed about something at the store, and I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you or our life together, because it doesn’t.

I am the luckiest man on the planet to have you as a child. Every week is a long week for me, and by the weekend, I am exhausted. But I’m content, so don’t worry. I hope your day is going well. I adore you so much! Tears welled up in my eyes as I read the words, my heart swelled, and gratitude enveloped me. I reread my husband’s text and realized God must have been telling us the same thing that day.

I needed that affirmation from my husband, and even though I knew what he had written in my heart, it felt good to have it said. My husband recognized that as his wife, I was also his primary ministry calling. Your primary ministry as a Christian wife is to your husband. He is the service to which God has led you. The rest is incidental. If you’re a Christian husband, your primary ministry should be to your wife. Yes, Jesus is our first love, but honoring your spouse honors the Lord.

We can become so accustomed to our often effortless relationship with our partner that we don’t give it the extra TLC it needs to thrive, but love can fully flow out of our lives when things are well-tended at home. When I focus on my top ministry calling, I know I am a better mother, nurse, encourager, and friend. My relationship.